Monday, October 16, 2006

Let's everyone gather in the conference room.

Thanks everyone for coming. I know you've got jobs to do. Well, some of you anyway.

Well folks, it looks like tomorrow we're gonna welcome the 300,000,000th team member into the fold. Woo-hoo! Not sure yet where we're gonna put them yet but we'll find a place. Probably in the south or southwest corner. That seems to be where most of the folks are going now.

Now, I know what you all are saying: "We've tripled in size in just 95 years and we've grown over 100 million in just the last 40 years. Is there any concern that we're getting overcrowded?"

Of course not. Quick show of hands, how many of you fought traffic this morning?

Eek. That many, huh? Anyone take public transportation. Anyone? No? Couple folks on the northeast side? Ok.

Well, how many of you own your home?

Great, wow, some of you.

And how many of you would say your homes are relatively close in to the city without bankrupting you?

No one? Well, looks like we got some suburb lovers, do we? Alright! Go suburbs!


OK, enough of that. A couple quick notes before we wrap up here. If everyone could start limiting themselves to one or two cups of water a day, that would be great. Some of the folks on the western side of the building have been complaining they don't have enough water. We tried not to put anyone over there, what with the AC out and all, but we didn't have a place to put them. So let's all be mindful of that.

Also, please be patient with the folks from downstairs as they come up. We simply can't keep them from coming so please be patient with them as they assimilate themselves. While they do take up space and use our resources and our lackluster healthplan, they really help out with alot of the stuff we don't like doing. I mean, I'm not going to change the empty water bottles, are you? Exactly.

Lastly, We're always looking for some new people so if you know anyone, feel free to send them over. Or just make some more. 3, 4, 5 per person would be great. Or more if you can do it. The more the merrier.

I'm off to the Hummer dealership.

That is all.

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Blogger Askinstoo said...

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