Saturday, November 25, 2006

Oh yeah, that's real normal.

I don't even know how to classify this story other than the straight up freak file. I'll try to do it justice.

So today, Mom and Dad and I are going over to see my aunt and uncle's new swank house before heading out to lunch. On the way we took a little detour by Lance Armstrong's new Casa Muy Grande he's building. It looks like it's gonna be insane. Then we turn the corner and come up on a Land Cruiser backing down the street—on our side, the right of way side. No problem, right? But she continues backing for like 100 yards before finally curbing that bad boy. We then ease around her on the left saying "well, that was weird."

Then we see a collar-less golden retriever running dangerously alongside the road in the little grass area and look back to see Woman-In-Reverse is now on foot heading our way. So I roll down the window and say to the dog, "here, poochie, poochie" figuring "exciting stranger guy" has a better chance of wrangling this thing than does "woman who is prolly not gonna be too happy with him when she catches up to him." He, of course, comes right up to my door and so I hop out and grab him around the neck since, again, he has no collar. I start walking him in her direction.

Now did I mention I'm with my folks? Did I mention this woman was reversing her car down the road? Did I mention the dog had no collar and the woman is now on foot coming our way? Do I even need to mention this whole situation looks like a lost dog whom a woman is trying to capture?

Good, because that will make this next part that much more screwed up.

Woman-In-Reverse, who is now about 50 yards away now, starts screaming at me/us "HEY! THAT'S MY DOG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? HEY!"

I just stopped right there and said "fine, best of luck with that sista" and let go of him. Then I got back in the car. Surely she got him eventually.

But what-the-you-know-what is up with that? Who is this chick that figures two parents and their 30-something son are out on Saturday morning dognapping? Right in front of the owner! And in my mom's Nissan! It's not even a van! I'm not dognapping anything without a sliding door! That's dognapping 101!

Oh yeah, and this is all right in the middle of one of the nicest neighborhoods in Austin.

Go back to where you got your crack, chica.

Personally, I'm going back to Cali tomorrow morning.

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