Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Bedazzled. Bi-atch.

The good news is I feel loads better today. I was maybe even pushing 90% earlier. Keith's birthday was yesterday so tonight I got talked into having beers at the ever mall-like Dantana's with the crew. I'm just tired now. 75-80%, perhaps. It was alright but it was a setback.

Me and sick have never had a good relationship. I've got no time for its antics and it's got no time for my refusal to accept it. What are you gonna do? Tomorrow I'll be fine.

I did buy Keith one of those NASA "Failure is not an Option" mugs as a little thank you for all he did on our spot. It'll be here in a couple of days. We'll have a good laugh as we were quoting the crap out of NASA stuff the last couple of days in LA like when everything was coming apart and I'd stand up and declare "we've never lost a spot on my watch and we're not gonna start now!" Good times.

Also, Justin and I decided to go buy the worst holiday sweaters we can possibly find and take the world's cheesiest holiday picture that we'll then photoshop up to look like some Sears Portrait Studio job and then make it into a Christmas card we'll send to....well, we're not sure who to send it to. At least it'll be good for an email. But it'll be hi-lar-ious. I'll write some total sap copy for the inside and there'll be multiple versions.

For the shoot (location TBD, although the building lobby's got a nice little set-up going and they already think we're freaks) we're trying to secure a small white puppy to pose with us. May have to go stuffed or cardboard cutout if we get in a pinch. Or (and this is pure, unadulaterated Christmas spirit talking) maybe like a sugar-glider or a ferret or one of those freaky shoulder-percher pets. That'd be awesome!

Personally, I'm on the lookout for something a bit specific: a red sweater with Rudolph on it and his nose, if there is a God, should be Bedazzled with sequins. I may have to drive out somewhere to a Walmart for that particular item. Not sure it's worth that, honestly. I wish I was handier with the ol' needle and thread and I'd whip one up.

Something like this would be perfect:

Oh yeah, and it'd be nice if it was bedazzled. And it had a picture of Rudolph on it. And that Karson guy had never worn it. You know he'd stretch the piss out of the neck. Probably wad it up and throw it in a corner too so you'd find it like a week later and be like "hey, is that my Rudolph sweater?" and he'd be all like "you, you....

I got nothing. I should have Googled harder for an image of a sweater that was not being worn by him. I don't know any good jokes about him.

This will be the world's worst Christmas card. I'm gonna do something horribly wrong to my hair, perhaps a slicked down combover job. Flock-o-seagulls? I dunno.

I'm already listening to Christmas music in the car. It's delightful.


Blogger minus five said...

because i'm that cool and because i don't do anything at work, i took it upon myself to help with your holiday sweater search. ebay has some real quality numbers. type in "men holiday sweater"... wow, its going to be hard to choose between some of the ones i saw.

you might also think of wearing a cardigan with a mock turtleneck. whatever you do, please use boatloads of l.a. looks hair gel and make sure to have a super clean part in your hair. not unlike sweetchuck from the police academy movies.

11:32 AM  
Blogger Tania Rochelle said...

You know you're going to send me one of those cards.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Howard said...

Tania, you're top o' the list. Who knows, I might even hand deliver it! 'Course that would mean driving down Peachtree, uggh. But I'd do it for you.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Tania Rochelle said...


2:51 PM  
Blogger Alena said...

Instead of the puppy, I have a lizard you can use. THAt would be...weird...

11:25 AM  

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