Thursday, November 01, 2007


To celebrate Halloween last night, I decided to give The Pants a night off and instead go as a drunken airline pilot.

(This one is me responding to a concerned passenger who just approached me in the Chili's Too to ask if I'm flying the 10:15 to PHX. Yeah lady, I am. Shut up and let me finish my drink. And Christ, it's like an hour flight. I'm pretty sure I can make it.)

Mom was kind enough to send me the old college interview suit last week which I then kicked in $3.36 in needles, thread and epaulets to make it into a pilot uniform. Note the attention to detail, especially around the cuffs.

Not too shabby, eh? Unless you count the tear in the crotch of the pants. I didn’t. You shouldn’t either.

Due to the amazing lack of parties on the actual night (I’ve actually got a Halloween party this coming weekend! WTF?) we ended up just hitting a bar/restaurant called Jones up in West Hollywood not too far from the craziness that is the West Hollywood parade on Santa Monica Blvd. It did afford us a nice view of the parade of freaks heading over.

There was “Incredibly tight uniform 'sexy' taxi cab person thing with her breasts practically hanging out.”

Sorry there wasn’t a front shot. I could probably charge for that.

And there was “Guy in a bunny suit.” We just thought he was funny.

The rest of our crew consisted of Aline as a future cop, Katy as a Southwest Airlines Flight attendant, Scott as whatever he was, Whitney reprising her 80’s country singer outfit, and yours truly in aforementioned pilot outfit.

We took pictures of every possible scenario we could imagine in which all those people would ever cross paths. Enjoy.

Pilot meets guy at bar, they become fast friends until his flight.

Pilot meets Vegas country star who is under the "watchful" eye of future law enforcement. So much so, they're trading hats.

Pilot decides he needs to let his helmeted friend know he's not thrilled with some of his life choices.

The country singer decides she doesn't care for how she's being treated on Southwest and decides to take matters into her own hands. Law enforcement is not impressed.

Maybe this one is just a group shot.

A chance meeting at the airport Marriott leads to a prom date.

The country diva freaks out a little bit on the Southwest flight back from Vegas. The flight attendant is shocked and future law enforcement is having none of it. Look at her, she's out of control!

One thing I’ll say about being a drunken pilot is your find yourself getting really into it. I was saluting everyone, shouting, calling out random numbers, using the term “niner” and—there’s no easy way to put this—womanizing. The bad kind. The creepy kind. Kind of wish I had grown out a mustache for this one.


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