Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Jesus in '08!

I don't want this to turn into a bigger discussion but lot of people talk about how my/our generation isn't as religious as perhaps our parents' generation was. I suppose a lot of that is true—at least as far as organized religion goes. And I think a lot of that has to do with that generation's support for people like George W. Bush who—and let's be honest here—could give a crap about God or religion unless of course it's how God and religion can help them get something. It would be one thing if they applied the lessons of—oh I don't know, let's go ahead and just say for the purposes of this conversation, Jesus—to their lives.

But Jesus was like all kinda like considerate of others and stuff. At least from what I read. These people spend more time talking about god but they don't seem to care about anyone (except the following: rich people, crazy rich people, and people who can make them crazy richer) from what I can see. Did I miss something in church that everyone else got? Was I church-punked?

And this may just be the ol' public school education talking, but I feel like I read somewhere something about church and state and some sort of separation. Maybe even something about some people sailing across something or another to escape a place where the church just couldn't keep their grubby paws out of the state's business. We the people...more perfect union....yada, yada, yada.

You'd think we'd be able to move on considering how wonderfully things went the last time we elected one of these evangelicals to the highest office.

But then yesterday I read this from our old pal, the formerly fat-assed Mike Huckabee:

"I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that's what we need to do — to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view."

Oh that's right, because part of the requirement for being an American is being a Christian. I totally forgot that.

You know, the Mike Huckabees of the world seem to me to treat Christianity like some kind of pyramid scheme or Amway or something where God gives you reward points for how many people you convert. Is that really at the top of God's list? Numbers? What, is God like a CEO now? Does he have a weekly conference call with these guys and say "ok, you've got some good hate and division going on but I wanna see NUMBERS, people!"

What's worse, people keep encouraging assholes like him by voting for them. "Well, he's a Christian," they'll say.

Which we all know is a ticket to do whatever you want. If nothing else, it's just another way to be right.

Then again we could all just vote Democrat in 2008. Only they're apparently now racists and sexists. Fantastic!

Meet our best and brightest, America! Let's all pick a winner!

[Editor's side note: would it kill us to have an option for president that wasn't a recovering alcoholic (Bush) or formerly obese person (Huckabee) who thinks everyone needs saving? Just because Jesus or whoever saved you from doom doesn't mean we're in the same place as you. Some of us, after all, aren't full of shit and sleep just fine at night. Just a thought.]

7 Comments:

Blogger minus five said...

this is awesome and funny, funny shit. what's wrong with the constitution? last i checked it was okay. and dude, i didn't know about huckabee being a fatass. i couldn't quit staring at that picture.

don't worry, howard. barack obama will be our next president.

10:35 PM  
Blogger ButtonHole said...

I agree with every word of this so strongly my whole body aches.

YAY!

3:10 AM  
Blogger dave said...

Amen brother.

10:37 AM  
Blogger biggy said...

well said.

2:16 PM  
Blogger Howard said...

Granted he'll prolly sweep South Carolina but I think the Huckster's days may be numbered. Hopefully.

2:49 PM  
Blogger biggy said...

unrelated, but check out Ladies of Cambridge by Vampire Weekend. Great song. Or so I think.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Tania Rochelle said...

Where are you?

9:33 PM  

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