Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Job security

To all my friends who work in advertising, design or pretty much anything having to do with branding, enjoy. Your job is perfectly safe. So long as ads like this one are out there, anyway.

If I directed this, here would be my direction:

Ok people! I want to take the energy down a notch. Say you're at a ten, I want you to drop it down to like a two. And you, in the black dress, I want you to imagine you've been asleep since 1975. Give me groggy. Give me slumbering. And don't use your "acting", just read the cue cards. And you sir, be weirder. And stop more for awkward pauses. Don't be afraid to sing a little too. It's all gonne sync up perfectly with the footage behind you. Trust me guys, once I edit this thing up with some perfectly-timed cuts and we add in the graphics and animation in post and then put ya'll in front of the sweet footage we already shot you're gonna see what I mean. Trust me. Wait 'til you see the Lochness Monster sequence I put together. Ok, places, people! And action!

I wouldn't trust them to film my average Tuesday night on the couch let alone something important. It would be one thing if they were selling yarn or discount pet grooming but they're selling their ability to make movies! Poorly, it seems. And was that a leather glove during the "prom" shot?


Blogger minus five said...

a friend of mine sent this to me yesterday. i was speechless.

5:41 PM  
Blogger Howard said...

Shocking. Nothing else I can say.

6:26 PM  
Blogger ButtonHole said...

Minus lives??? What???


Anyway. This was so funny I nearly choked on the Cadbury egg I was eating!!

10:23 PM  
Blogger minus five said...

heck yes i live.

7:08 PM  

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