Wednesday, May 28, 2008

In the news

Let's see, what's been going on...

Scott McClellan has come out of the Bush closet and finally told us all what we already know. Wait, wait, wait, so you mean to tell me the president led us to war based on false intelligence, propaganda and fear mongering? What's next, he's also too insecure to admit his failures? He looked out for his rich oil and gas buddies at the Jesus freaks' expense? Welcome to what the rest of us already know, Scotty. And keep an eye out for my new book, "Pizza is Delicious", which should be out real soon.

In other news, long-suspected terrorist Rachel Ray is, in fact, a terrorist. Which is obviously true. Thank god those paranoid nutjobs caught that one! Between Starbucks making me look at boobs and Dunkin Donuts making me want to blow up people, where's a conservative to get their morning coffee?

And lastly, in a sure sign we're just a handbasket away from hell, here's this little gem from a woman who clearly wants to be the one carrying that handbasket:

Unfuckingbelievable.

At this rate I'd give us about a year, tops.

3 Comments:

Blogger minus five said...

who the heck is that lady?

there's also rumors spreading in the lower region of the united states that obama is the anti-christ. that's one of my favorites. i also like how they make sure to call him "barack hussein obama" to further prove their anti-christ theory.

10:40 PM  
Blogger Jeanette said...

A year is being pretty generous.

12:34 AM  
Blogger Howard said...

I think that woman's name is Kooky McShitforbrains. It's Hungarian.

And yeah, I'm downgrading us to roughly 9 months.

6:05 PM  

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