Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Three Little Candidates

Once upon a time there were three little presidential candidates and the time came for them to leave home and seek their nominations.

Before they left, their mothers told them "Whatever you do, build your campaign the best that you can because that's the way to get along in the world."

The first little candidate built his campaign out of fear because it was the easiest thing to do.

The second little candidate built her campaign out of lies, intimidation and just trying to win the big states. It wasn't too hard to do and it was a little bit stronger than the one built from fear but still pretty crappy.

The third little candidate built his campaign out of actually telling the truth even if people didn't want to hear it, by courting the voters that others don't really care about, and by focusing on how to actually solve problems rather than just acting like some cowboy bad-ass in an effort to win over voters. It was harder to do and required literally tens of thousands of volunteers, but it was the right thing to do.

But then, rather than wait for the big bad wolf to come do it, for some reason the second little candidate decided she'd go ahead and try to blow down the other campaigns. Weird right?

But rather than start with the logical choice of the weakest campaign she went after the strongest one. Even though he was her neighbor. And while she was so busy trying to blow his down hers completely fell apart. Ironically, in the process she might have even made the weakest campaign even stronger.

But that didn't stop her. Oh, no. She kept on blowing and blowing and blowing and blowing and blowing. And she's still blowing.

Still.

Even though everyone knows it's over.

Everyone.

Except, of course, the blatantly racist.

But the strongest campaign survived and eventually figured out if you just ignore her maybe she'll just go away. Maybe.


The moral of the story: either by blowing or being blown, the Clintons are gonna fuck something up.

4 Comments:

Blogger minus five said...

good one, howard.

1:28 PM  
Blogger dave said...

love it.

7:25 PM  
Blogger Howard said...

Ahh, thanks ya'll.

And I promise to write more soon. It's been a busy few weeks out here. And every time I sit down to write all I wanna do is bitch about West Virginia. Or Pennsylvania. And ya''ll don't wanna hear that.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Tania Rochelle said...

Sure we do.

6:26 PM  

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