Friday, August 01, 2008

Hey, are those straws?

Is it just me or has old man McCain gone off the deep end? Two ads in as many days essentially complaining about how Barack is more popular? Desperate much? What are we voting for here, prom queen?

Stop being such a little bitch.

All you've done for a month now is bitch like some kind of old codger in his Barcalounger bellyachin' over how the American League now uses the DH. Just shut up and retire already you old bastard. No one likes you! At best they merely tolerate you because you're willing to support their warped agenda. Although I'm pretty sure the Hilton's ain't gonna be ponyin' up more cash for your cause after you sold out their daughter. Moses probably ain't too thrilled either. Probably not a good idea to get on his bad side. Dude parted the Red Sea, I'm just sayin'.

On a kinda/sorta related note I read some articles this morning about how Barack's weight may work against him in the election. He's too "healthy" it seems. He goes to the gym too much, eats too many veggies and not enough shit food. He's not enough like us. You know, those of us who have about as much chance of winning the presidency as cracking this little head-scratcher:

I'm told it requires a certain type of person is all I'm saying. Exceptional, even. Maybe even someone who doesn't look a whole lot like the people on our block out in the suburbs.

The consensus of the articles this morning seemed to be that since two-thirds of the country is fat and a solid third of it is what we like to call downright frikkin' enormous, there might be some resentment over the fact that Obama's thin. Well, this has just got "good result" written all over it. Glad to see we're voting with our, are those bear claws?

So let me get this straight. We're basically looking for someone who's as fat and underachieving as we are to run this show we call America? Really? Hell, while we're squandering our future, let's get someone really like us! Let's get someone who talks like us, all unintelligible-like. Someone who's never left the country! Someone who we say we'd like to have a beer with despite the fact they're a recovering alcoholic!

Oh wait, we already elected that guy. And just look where that got us!!!

McCain's someday gonna look back on these months as months he could have spent doing something more pleasant than getting his ass handed to him in glorious fashion. Hell, he could have even taken some of his wife's millions and gone to buy a suit somewhere besides the Men's Wearhouse. Just a thought.


Blogger minus five said...

i love that picture. at least it doesn't highlight his wet-school-comb job on his hair.

i like it that he's spending his money on dumb ads and that he keeps defending them. i hope his campaign stays this lame until november.

my prediction is that a lot of people who would have normally shown up to vote, aren't going to bother. and that a lot of people who never gave a crap about voting will show up. obama will win by margins that we saw in the last election. it's not even going to be close.

i have a whole list of good ideas i'd like to give mccain so he can keep fighting the good fight.

trust me on this one. most of america is going to be at the drive-thru instead of the voting booths. i mean, we might as well start having money printed with barack's face on it.

10:29 PM  
Blogger biggy said...

yes, it makes so much more sense to elect someone who has got one foot in the grave already. We are a nation of fucking idiots. seriously.

6:49 PM  
Blogger minus five said...

a small gift for howard

12:12 PM  
Blogger Harpy said...

is it just me or does he kind of look like a mole rat here? or maybe something that rhymes with menis. i'm not sayin i'm just sayin.

11:08 PM  

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