Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Dear Hillary,

Don’t take it. Make something up and politely decline the offer to be Secretary of State. Go back to the senate and be the best Senator you can be. It's what's best for all of us.

It’s not that I don’t like you or think you’re a bad person. It’s just that you and I both know you’re never going to be happy serving under anyone not least of which the guy who stole your shot at the presidency. Just so you’re clear, the job involves shutting up and helping Obama fulfill his vision for the country. Not yours, not Bill’s. Not sure that playing a supporting role is in the Clinton genes. You see where this could be a problem?

On top of that, your husband is an ex-president. That comes with all sorts of conflicts and stuff. I feel like you all should have had a discussion back in the day about which one of you was going to be the big-shot politician. ‘Cause you can’t both be. You don’t see Katie lobbying to star in Mission Impossible 4, now do ya? I’m just sayin’.

So, with that said, here are a few excuses that are yours to use when you think the time is right:

• Too many troubles in the world, don’t want any part of it

• I suffer from deep vein thrombosis and can’t really travel that much internationally

• I’m secretly holding out for the Clinton-Palin 2012 ticket

• Might try my hand at woodworking, think it would be satisfying to sit in a chair I made with my own hands

• I’d like to focus on my soon-to-be-introduced line of signature pant suits

• Four words: Dancing with the Stars

• Like much of the south, I openly despise black people yet curiously still call myself a Christian. Weird, I know. The two would seem to be at odds with each other but the way we see it if everyone at our church feels the same way then are we really wrong? Besides, black people were made by the other god. It’s in the Bible, look it up. (whoops, looks like someone got a little carried away there)

• Not sure we need a Secretary of State since the Bush administration left us in such good standing and so beloved the world over

• I’m kind of still smarting from not being president


Blogger a/ok said...

ooh, ooh, me!

Hill, tell 'em being appointed a secretary of anything seems sexist. Then it'll sound like you're still winning...

10:27 PM  
Blogger Howard said...

I like that angle! Typical, naming a woman to a "secretary" position. So sexist.

10:50 PM  
Blogger caroline said...

you might be onto somthing!

7:22 PM  

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