So today I decide to use part of my day off to buy $60 worth of gas (wtf?) and hit the Coinstar machine to try to turn a year's worth of change into cash for the holiday weekend. So I consult the Coinstar site, find a store near the house and make my way there. How hard could it be, right?
I rolled into the Ralph's to get my loot and two people were already in line at the machine. Not good. And the guy in front of me has a bowling ball bag in a shopping cart. "Please let him be with the first woman and let them just be getting some bowling cash," I prayed. (That wasn't a phone call! I was photographing your bag!)
But I knew this was no way this was merely a stop on the way to the lanes. That bag was full of change yo! Why else would it be in the cart?
"Man, I should let you go in front of me. I gots like a thousand dollars in this bag. Eight years' worth," he tells me. "Gonna paint my car with it."
"Wow. That's a lot of change, man. Thanks for letting me go ahead. This shouldn't take more than a second."
I couldn't take my eyes off the bag.
"Eight years worth, huh?" I pondered, suddenly fascinated by the bag and whether or not it had been the recptacle for change over the past eight years or was it merely a transport device. Hard to say.
The lady at the machine finishes and the guy wheels his cart up, unzips his bag and begins heaving handfuls of change into the machine. No acknowledgment of our agreement. Nothing. It had been like one minute.
If he was done by sunset, it'd be a miracle.
I stood there for a second staring at him but figured I shouldn't push the issue too far. I mean, if a sock-full-o'-pennies hurts, a bag-full-o-thousand-dollars-in-loose-change probably hurts like the dickens.
Fortunately they had a Bank of America so I was able to do some real banking before heading off to the Albertson's which I'd seen also had a machine.
And there was no line. Bonus! But when I finally took my receipt to the cashier to get my $34.71, she says to me, "oh, we don't take these here."
I was all like, "just this lane or the whole store? 'Cause you have a machine right there! Kind of sends a mixed signal, don't you think?"
"Ah, I'm just kidding. Here, let me get that $34.71 for you," she says, having no idea what I'd been through for this $34.71.
Cashier humor. None finer.
Have a good fourth everyone and thanks for all the sweet comments during my absence. You're too kind. Really.