Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Recently, the Senate from my great home state of Texas decided that a good place to let people carry concealed handguns would be on college campuses. Someday someone will have to explain that to me. I guess they figured after incidents like Columbine and Virginia Tech and Texas’ own 1966 incident that the answer was to add more guns to the system. So, the hope goes, that when the next nutjob starts popping off shots some heroic student will rise to the occasion and be able to knock down the threat with a handgun that’s been tucked away in a backpack.

What the fuck ever, Texas.

It’s bad enough that less than 60% of us even get college degrees in a time when life without one is decidedly more restricted, but now we’ve got a bunch of amateur gun owners running around in the hopes they’ll save the day when the shit goes down. Aren’t we stupid enough as a society already?

I know, I know. After the routine background check and completion of that gun safety course everyone will magically turn into Dirty Harry, ready and able to defend their campus at all costs. And, of course, they'll do it all with their guns held sideways while sliding across the floor like the video games. But back here in the real world we all know it ain't gonna be like that. I mean, have you met any college kids lately?

The best case will likely look something like this: instead of one or two lone shooters amidst all the mass confusion and panic, you’ll have several in several different locations. And exponentially more panic. Even better, everyone with a gun will likely look a lot like a college kid! So the campus police force will then have to figure out who is who before doing anything that actually might save lives. That’s gonna be awesome.

If we were really serious about saving lives and preventing these types of things from happening, we’d make saving lives a priority, not just taking them. We'd not just say we value life but make actual efforts to protect it. Instead of allowing concealed handguns, we’d encourage kids to carry first-aid kits, to be the kid who saves 32 people. We’d make sure every student learned CPR—even make it so kids felt stupid if they didn't know it. Most importantly, we could do a better job of preventing these goddamn massacres from happening. Hell, maybe even make handguns harder to get, not easier. We could even make an effort as a nation to not be so obsessed with guns and war. Let's take this a step at a time though.

But if you find yourself thinking rationally or wondering why Texas is encouraging gun proliferation as a way to cut down on gun violence, just remember that guns never end up in the wrong hands. And the best way to fight fire is with more fire.

Good luck, Texas.

Let's hope the House votes this nonsense down.


Blogger Sherry said...

I think we "dodged a bullet" on this one as the Lege ran out of time and had to go home before this measure could pass the House. However, there will be a special session--wonder if guns on campus will come up again...

11:51 AM  

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