Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Some household metaphors for how America is dealing with our problems

Not cleaning the house because lying on the couch is just sooooo much easier than dealing.

Using coffee filters and paper towels rather than going to the store to buy toilet paper.

Telling ourselves it’s just random sawdust piles and holes, not termites.

Yelling at the neighbors for not cutting our grass.

Convincing ourselves our neighborhood is still the best in the world!!!!

Calling anyone who points out that our house is actually a total mess a “nazi.” Or “Hitler.” Either way, we don’t wanna hear it.

Making up stories about the black family that just moved in. (Pretty sure they’re from Kenya since they don’t look exactly like us.)

Listening to old Michael Jackson records and recalling some mystical “better time.”

Lusting over the crazy woman from up north who we all kind of know will end up boiling our bunny and absolutely wrecking our lives…but man there is just something about her, isn’t there!!!

4 Comments:

Blogger minus five said...

the first two metaphors indicate that you've been stalking me.

11:07 PM  
Blogger ButtonHole said...

This is wonderful.

1:20 PM  
Blogger Howard Hill said...

All I'm saying is I feel like we've got some bad roommates out there who rather than help they just wanna see if there's a new Judge Judy on.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Sherry said...

This is why you're a writer! Very clever, and true to boot!

10:06 PM  

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