Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Bad screenplay idea #437

Because you know Hollywood's obviously gonna wanna franchise that shit, we double down with "The Brightside" (working title).

Picking up a couple of years later, we find Sandra atoning for her misdeeds by feverishly preparing the congregation of The Holy Ascension mega church for the Rapture. She and a resurgent Selma Blair (just being realistic and anticipating the countless contractual headaches with Drew and/or Kate) spend their days doing whatever needs to be done to prepare for the Rapture (research is looking into this). There will probably be a climax involving her being reunited with the guy from "The Blindside", a crying-in-the-rain scene, possibly vampires, Michael Cera, a reanimated Elvis (looking into rights), a car chase, a potential love interest with a 25-pound-heavier Mark-Paul Gosselaar, and it all culminates in a full-on, balls-to-the-wall Rapture scene* featuring everyone's favorite messiah: Jesus (Jim Caviezel?)

Needless to say, it's gonna be awesome.

* Rapture scene is fully dependent on openness of cast to doing full nudity (it's in the Bible, look it up) as well as our CG budget which will obviously be determined by the first film's takeā€”if we can't do the Rapture, perhaps just a really big Tea Party. Same thing.)

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