Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Last night’s plane ride by the numbers

0 – Number of times the entertainment system worked. I didn’t think it was that big a deal but, judging by the restlessness/aisle-walking/shifting around in seats, apparently I was the only one who prepared for that possibility.

5 – Estimation of the likely number of books/iPods/PSP’s or other long-term entertainment materials brought on board.

5 - Number of times a couple of young teen girls who were seated a few rows ahead of me made this poor old man get up so they could go for a stroll and see there BFF’s.

5 – Number of hours the two guys across the aisle from me talked. Non-stop. I'm not kidding.

4 – Number of times those same guys rang the flight attendant button. To give a little point of reference, I’ve rung that button like zero times ever.

21 – My estimation of the number of teenage girls who were treating the plane like it was a bus on the way to cheerleading regionals. That’s an aisle, ladies. Let’s keep it clear.

1 – Number of times someone puked in the back somewhere. Didn’t see it but smelled it on the way back to the lav.

1 - Speaking of the lav, this is the number of times I went back there and saw a guy just standing. Oh , not waiting or stretching his legs. No, just standing. And facing the wall. Real normal, pal. Reeeeeaaaaal normal.

3 – Number of times some middle-aged guy came to the front of coach and performed what could only be described as some kind of new-agey yoga thingy while facing the entire cabin. Could have been to combat deep-vein thrombosis (ya like that pull?) but he could have done that closer to his seat. Then again, we were flying to LA so you know what you're gonna get. Sadly, he didn’t have a ponytail.


Blogger Sherry said...

I can't believe your flight was such a zoo, but for those of us who weren't on that flight, your account of it is hilarious!

11:28 PM  

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