Wednesday, May 05, 2010

God responds

From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented.” - Rick Perry, Governor of Texas (in reference to the whole gulf oil debacle)

Dear Rick,

Whoa, buster. Don’t you try to pin this thing on me. I'm like totally omniscient and stuff (that means all-knowing, FYI) so obviously if anyone knew this was gonna happen it was me. In all honesty, you people should have known too. Whatcha got there, a floating platform out in the middle of the ocean with thin pipes full of oil connected to the ocean floor thousands of feet below? Well gee, what could possibly go wrong, right?

Yeah, god did it. Nice one, pal.

Is this the thanks I get for giving you that head of hair? You’re just gonna throw me under the bus like that?

Who was it that told you to get a real education and not to go to that armpit of a school down there in College Station? Who told you not to go republican? Who told you that that whole "let's secede from the United States" stunt you pulled was a stupid move?

Me. That’s who.

And don’t look at me to clean that mess up either. That’s on y’all. And my son, Barack.

Oh, I've said too much. You never heard that. Gotta go.


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