Monday, September 22, 2014

Meet us Halfway

Quick question for you, Chinese kids of the 80’s: where were you?

We were out there digging like hell to try to reach you and I think we have a right to know what the heck were you doing? Were y’all even digging? Did you even try to reach us? The more I think about it, the more burned I get.

How cool would it have been to tunnel through and see each other? Think about it. We’d have been super psyched! Now stop thinking about it because it’s too painful to think about, at least on this side of the world. Mainly because you didn’t hold up your end of the deal, Chinese kids of the 80’s. 

I won’t even get into the huge risks we were facing trying to dig down straight through the earth. Hot lava, caves, whatever the earth’s core is made of, the devil himself. We were facing unspeakable dangers, Chinese kids of the 80’s. And yet we still dug. Day in and day out, we dug. Maybe we were naïve. Maybe it was our American can-do attitude. Maybe it was severe boredom due to the Xbox still being 15 years away. Whatever it was, we never stopped digging to reach you.

Now, just for a second imagine if just one of you had taken it upon yourself to dig toward us. I don’t remember exactly how deep we got but a couple times the earth got pretty chilly so we had to have been pretty close. Sure, technically the earth would need to get really hot for us to actually be close but it felt like any minute we’d see one of you upside down in our hole. Man, we got close. But we’d have been a lot closer if one of the literally one billion of you had gotten off your duff and helped dig a little. Was that too much to ask? I mean, really.

Put away the shovels, guys. It’s too late now so don’t even bother. But there was a solid five-year window from like 82’-‘87 where we could have made it happen. Really would have been cool to have met you guys.

Bet we could have shared some cool stories.

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